June Roth

Spam/Text/Phone messages/orange cicken

This baby is a kicker. If I put a plate on my belly she the baby will kick it clear off. I had to clean fried chicken grease off of my sofa after it first happened. Now I just put plates on my belly and watch them fall it's kind of cool.

Downside? I have to pee every 5 mins (or it feels that way). I'm not sleeping as much. I miss sleep. I love sleep. Where you go sleep? Breathing is overrated for pregnancy apparently. I feel like a fat man climbing stairs when I walk around.

About 98 days to go. I really miss working and running around outside.

WHO THE HELL SLAPS A PREGNANT WOMAN?!

I'm at the cafe and out of nowhere this crazy person goes crazy and starts slapping people. If I didn't have a watermelon in me I think I would have hit this asshole right back.

1st WTF moment of the year. yeah yeah being pregnant should have been a wtf but it's not ...i want cheese puffs.

I don't really feel like documenting my body changing into a vessel for another creature but I figured I should do at least one photo? I'm not that big I don't think. I can still drive. Doctor says if I get a spurt and get too big to fit behind the wheel I'll have to take a desk job at the hospital and I REALLY don't want to do that. My boobs are getting bigger and that feels awkward. All I want to eat is cheetos and buffalo wings and I know I'm not supposed to. Anyway.
( photographic evidence of my monstrosity. )

My iddy biddy baby sister is all grown up and married. I still think of her as a tiny baby but she isn't. The wedding was beautiful. Abby was beautiful. Charlie was handsome. Everything was amazing. I'm a sucker for weddings and love it all warms my heart.
( and now for something completely different )

Cat is out of the bag. I look disgusting. If I wear one of those dresses fat girls wear to cover up their bulges maybe no one will notice I'm pregnant at the wedding.

My beautiful baby sister is getting married on Tuesday. So excited! I'm going to fly out Sunday night after my shift catch a little shut-eye. Surprisingly I found a cheap ticket for a redeye. My thought process on this is that everyone will be home already with their family on Christmas? We'll see. I've never been bothered by crowds of people and waiting in lines. I would have asked Rusty to come with me but I guess I goosed that.

I don't normally take time off during the holiday season but this is the best exception ever. I'm pretty sure I've been telling everyone that my sister is getting married. So if the town didn't know already Abby and Charlie ... I think they know now.

The hospital usually has a small get together for Halloween but I'm not sure about this year. Everyone I ask is really unclear. I hope people at least dress up. I've had my work-Halloween costume picked out since last year, I'm going to be Thriller MJ. Then for my normal costume I'm gonna be Wilma Flintstones but I'm going to wear shoes cause it is cold out and I like my toes.

All I want is Chinese food and the really bad stuff. If it isn't breaded or fried I don't want it. I've been half tempted to see if the Road House will deep fry a cheese burger. Fried anything. I'm eating orange chicken right now. I wish this little box was bottomless. I think I've put on some weight. I need to stop this but I have such a weird food obsession right now. All this fried stuff is making me feel too tired to go and work out. I think once I finish this orange chicken I'm going to go for a run. Maybe. Yeah I'll go for a run.

( Text: Rusty )

Blah. This whole Lassa fever "outbreak" is too insane. Abby's birthday is in 3 days. This is no way for her to spend it. Uncle A and Alison are in there too. On one hand it's nice to know that my family isn't alone and on the other hand it is really crazy and messed up that they are in there. If you guys need anything tell me. Adam I'm all over looking after the dog. If you want me to bring you anything, food, chargers, i don't know anything, let me know.

The hysteria this has brought. I keep getting calls to houses where some people are having psychosomatic symptoms of Lassa or whatever you call it I'm so unbelievably tired. People are being really dumb let's just put it that way. I'm so freaking stressed out.


To all of you who have to be in the hospital right now I hope you all get well really soon preferably before I hit enter on updating this. If there are people in there who don't have any family or anyone to look out for them I'd be more than willing to help out.

For some reason turning 30 was a bigger deal than turning 31,32, and now 33. I think I'll freak out when I'm 39 and on the verge of 40. The 10 year mark is weird.

Thank you Abby for posting my face all over the internet.

If I was alive when Chevy Chase was younger I'd of married him. I won't discriminate on age for Steve Martin.

My Baby Sister Abigail Brooks is engaged to be married! I don’t know how to express my excitement in words. LOTS OF CAPS AND EXCLIMATION POINTS WILL WORK I THINK!!!!! MY BABAY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!

And the ring? Not too shabby. Alright it's freaking beautiful.

I love love and weddings and parties and that room full of happiness/love/joy that comes with weddings :D !!!!!

And now that it's Abby. My little biddy baby sister. 10xs more excited about this than anything EVER!!!!!!!!!!

CAPS AND !!! means TOO DAMN EXCITED I'M SHOUTING AT YOU WITH GLEE!!! lol

I've been thinking for a while about maybe quitting my job and being a FT masseuse. We have so many tourists year round I bet I could make a decent living. I made a spread sheet of costs and all that "professional" stuff. The initial costs would be expensive such as rent for a building but I think maybe I'll do it. I have money and nothing to do with it. I like my job now but the hours are insane and I feel like I have no life. If I was my own boss I'd have my own hours.

My mom has been in her own way telling me I need to or should find a guy and have kids this time so we'll stay together. and have a house. It's not that she's trying to put stress on me or freak me out or anything. I get it. She's worried that her oldest daughter is 32, twice divorced, and ... she found out I was taking poll dancing classes. She didn't say it but she heavily implied that she doesn't want me to be a stripper.

Side note: Green tea and honey is good!

Anyway. Yeah. This post is such a downer? It's so serious.

Anyone want to go get a burger with me? I know it's late but any time is Burger-Time.

I live for these moments. I shouldn't take pleasure in this. But. You guys. I got called in to look after these two Harry Potter kids who got in a fight. Harry Potter and the blonde haired kid. Well you know fans dressed as them. Harry Potter kid stabbed the blonde kid with his wand in the leg! And the blonde kid broke the other kid's glasses and broke HP's nose, chipped his tooth, and the blonde kid got a chunk of skin taken out of his knuckle.

I didn't peg those fans to be violent but this is what you get with underage drinking. So kids. Remember. Don't be stupid.

Don't be stupid also goes for this woman I was called out to:

She tried to flush her pet snake down the toilet and it didn't like that so it bit her. Apparently animal control was called out the snake was taken away. She passed out a week later, as in today, tonight, because the snake bite was infected by the toilet water that got into it.

Lesson of the night number two: Clean your toilets!

Next week, the 28th I’m flying to Calgary to see The Black Keys and coming back the next day. I’m so excited. Even better in October I’m going to Edmonton cause Flogging Molly is playing on the 8th. Basically on that day I plan to get very drunk on the plane, mosh my heart out, get drunk, and get even more drunk on the plane ride back. If only Gogol Bordello was playing then I think I could die happy.

Does anyone know where I can go rock climbing around here? The poll dancing class hasn’t been that exciting these past few weeks. They’re starting to get into I don’t know the “accessories” of it. I want to get into something else that’ll really work my legs out like the poll dancing class did.

How can I get a petition started to get Steve Martin to make more movies? This should be done and it should work.

I need meat. All I have is cheese and fruit and ice-cream. How is this possible? I don't even have a backup nasty pot-pie. I want to sink my teeth into some damn red meat. I want a bloody burger or steak. Salami? Mmm. Why isn't the market open 24/7? Why am I too tired to go to the gaslight? Why doesn't the gaslight deliver? Why don't I have meat?! There is a questionable bag of 3 fishsticks in the back of my freezer...very questionable...they will go out on trash day.

Beef flavored ramen is just not the same as a good hunk of meat. I want to be a tiger in the zoo. They get hunks of bloody meat everyday. I'm so tired. Normally work doesn't wear me out but jeez. I haven't been sleeping all that great. I lost my jogging buddy. There's a hot guy on the trail we do and she's too embarrassed to be sweaty in front of him.

My shift ended with dildos and fuzzy handcuffs. Residential call. This person went into an epileptic seizure during a "love making" event. Neither of the...other two parties knew what to do...oh my job. Saturday night. Bondage, dildos, fuzzy handcuffs. The place smelled like cinnamon and cigarettes which happen to be two scents I hate. I can't get the image of this person out of my head. Wearing a collar during a seizure isn't helpful. Having a midget dressed as cat woman there wasn't helpful either. That was just downright distracting.

Tip of the day: Epileptics of Heritage take your medication.

The pole dancing class is over and I started kick boxing last week. I want to be able to Chuck Norris round house kick! BAMPH!

I put Uncle Buck on my ipod and listened to it when I went for a run this morning. Listening and not watching is a weird thing for movies. I just had to get me some Candy today.

I never got that poll in my room but I think I will get a bag. A bag to kick the shit out of is a lot less trashy then having a stripper pole.

Who is sick? I am sick. I thought it was allergies at first which is weird because I never get allergies. Oh my god the pain. It's only been two days and I want to die. My nose is a massive snot factory leaking without end. Headaches, pressure around my eyes, nose, and my teeth even hurt. Oh and now my ears are plugged I can't hear jack. Dying. I'm pretty sure I'm dying. Going to see what sort of drugs the doctor can give me today since I'm okay enough to get up and not want to murder anyone.

Other news:

Poor Japan :( Cafepress is donating money if you buy one of these shirts: http://shop.cafepress.com/japan-relief?source=email&CMP=emc_20110315_JapanRelief&utm_source=cafepress&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20110315_JapanRelief&utm_campaign=Promo_Retail&pid=2529374

I'm going to get one.